Healing + Recovery

December 5, 2016

The Process

The topic of recovery just hit me this past week and really felt it in my heart to share what I know to be true. I just want to encourage you to accept when you need recovering and affirm that it's okay to take it. 

When I first came to the Lord, and even before, I would think my problems would disappear if I buried them far enough below new [happy] memories. To some extent that can seem true, some events are too traumatizing to accept and so we suppress them far enough until they don’t even seem to be real anymore- as if your pain is washed away by newer wounds. Unfortunately it doesn’t happen like that. 

I thought the things I was feeling all my life weren’t in need of recovery because the way other people invalidated my feelings. So I would brush off pain as if I didn’t feel it and tried to take heartbreak as lightly as possible to show people how strong I could be. 

In the world of God, our pain and emotions mean something. You are allowed to feel hurt and no one is allowed to invalidate what you’re feeling because your feelings are subjective. There is a reason behind why we feel things the way we do. Over the course of our lives our experiences add up and end up determining what affects us and what does not. 

I think a lot of knowing when I needed recovery came with finding my self-worth. Once I started to believe I am worth something then I could begin to understand that accepting circumstances or letting people invalidate my feelings isn’t okay. 

When I met Jesus He showed me that all that I had experienced and felt was valid. That’s all I really needed-  a little validation. King David was an amazing example of feeling pain as sad as that sounds. He was the depiction of an emotional roller coaster. David knew he was suffering, he accepted his circumstances but then shared them with the Lord. David surrendered all he felt; pain, joy, betrayal, ecstasy- to the Lord. That’s what God wants from us. To surrender all our pain to Him, and in that comes freedom. 

It’s okay to realize when you are not okay. A lot of things in the world damage us and damaged people create more damaged people. Without a savior all we have are tools to suppress what we are feeling. The good news is there is a savior. 

Please understand that pretending that you don’t need help or recovery of past trauma or hurt is actually hurting you more. Confronting what is buried deep is hard but once it's out, it’s out. There is no need for suppressors or addictions. There is so much freedom in recovery. 

"He sent out his word and healed them, and delivered them from their destruction” (Psm 10:107)

The only one who can heal your heart and fill it whole is the one who made it. I tried to heal myself and be strong enough for myself but I failed. I failed myself until I surrendered all rights to pain. The Lord provides everything we could ever need and more. Please accept when you need healing before it's too late. The sooner you do the less mess you'll have to dig up later. 

I love that staying broken isn't an option for God's children- only freedom and joy. 

Post Recovery

It's such a weird feeling to have wounds healed you have gotten use to avoiding every day. It's like learning to walk after being paralyzed. My heart is no longer paralyzed and I am no longer afraid to show who I am and that I experience emotions. Though I never had to go through abuse or an addiction I had a fear of showing my true self and emotions because the way other people had invalidated them. I had heart issues that suppressed my true self because of hurt and rejection. Either way, nothing is too little or too big for God to heal + redeem. 

There will always be new things and issues that I learn about myself and will have to face for the rest of my life but once time is given to heal the big issues, then God will take care of the rest when I am ready. In Heaven there is no heartbreak, abuse, addiction or suppressed pain. Jesus came to heal all sickness and pain on earth and His spirit continues to do so until the end of the world. 

Jesus holds all the tools for recovery you will ever need. But don't be afraid to ask for help from a friend, mentor or professional. I couldn't have gone through my [heart] recovery alone and didn't have to. Jesus is there to pick up the pieces and build something stronger and more beautiful out of anything you could ever imagine. God creates beautiful things out of dust, how much more could he do with your heart.


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