In All Seriousness

March 10, 2017

I’ve felt really good lately, not just a “I’m getting through life, there is no tragic event occurring in my life" type of good. Not even a “oh good, my circumstances are looking up” kind of good. No, it’s the kind of good that only comes from the Spirit. The kind that isn’t a hyped up ecstatic emotion, it's the one that I feel secure in. I feel steadfast in the Lord and in myself. 

What does feeling secure even feel like?

I promise nothing has changed since my last post. Since I poured out my soul on a keyboard and posted it for anyone to see. It was vulnerable and real, kind of sad but true. Just because it sounded sad doesn’t mean it was. I hit a revelation with my God. The kind that was in my mind then and has dropped down into my Spirit today. Whether God planned it in his timing to happen this way or it just took a little longer for the truth to sink it, at least it hit me. Let me tell you the truth that was revealed to me, are you ready? I take life too seriously. 

Yes, it’s true. I take life too seriously. Probably not what you expected. I promise I don’t take everything to heart or to mind but there are somethings I have allowed to poke at my soul for way too long. Subconscious anxieties that have stolen pieces of my joy and that’s just not okay anymore. Going back to Your Patience Is Abounding In Love, I was searching and praying for this one thing right? Guess what, I fasted, prayed, and still nada. But I’ve gotten over taking it too seriously. I’ve been upset because I’m not happy about where I’m at in life. There are a hundred million little things I’d like to change from the number in my bank account to the couch I sit on every morning. Petty things that at the end of the day don’t actually matter that much. 

Come with me here, I’m upset because I’m not where I think I should be or want to be in life. Who even orchestrates my life anyway? Who allowed things to be this way? Me? Heck no. If it were up to me things wouldn’t be this way. But what do I know anyway? I look to God and remember He’s holding my heart, life, destiny and everything that is a part of me inside His gentle, yet very powerful hands. At the end of the day it’s just a matter of trust. Do I trust God? Let’s pause there. 

One of my strongest qualities, in my opinion, is my self-awareness. I know what I want, what I actually ask for and what I in return receive. I’m better at analyzing my emotions and determining why I’m feeling a certain way and what made me feel that way better than assessing someone else’s emotions. Since I’ve been saved I’ve gotten really good at tugging at God to advance me in life and to heal my heart. I look back to all the places I've been and remember asking God to be where I realize I currently am. What?

It’s funny because we look at life as moment to moment and get hurt and frustrated when we’re stuck. But God looks at our lives as glory to glory and grace to grace. So, if from our last moment of glory, we feel as though we are stuck in a mess or a rut then guess what, glory is around the corner. Meaning, my glory hasn’t come yet and maybe yours hasn’t either. What I do know is that grace is being poured over me to even receive this revelation. You see, grace to grace is a day to day, moment to moment encounter with God. Glory to glory can take longer but I can assure you that His will is for you to go from glory to glory.

Unpause. I share this revelation with you because I trust God and want you to know that you can too. I trust that I am exactly where He wants me to be right now. I’ve given Him many opportunities to move me or open doors right now but it’s not in His time yet. And if I can trust that I am where I am supposed to be then I know it’s coming and it’s going to be good because God is preparing it. Also I can have fun. I take it as God has giving me the permission and freedom to enjoy exactly where I am at before I walk into the more complicated things I’ve prayed for. God is preparing something incredible for you. I’ve prayed to be exactly where I am today, how mad at God can I really be? I begin to take life too seriously because there’s some stupid stigma in society saying that we can’t be happy where we are at and that we need to be stressed because if we’re stressed and busy then it means we’re doing something important. I refuse to be stressed over something I can’t control. I will continue to do my part and look to God and trust that He is taking me exactly where I need to be. 

This year I've set my mind and heart to travel no matter what my schedule or finances look like. The minute I prioritize plans and  Just being able to take away time for myself has been the biggest blessing. It's opened up this place in my heart that longs for new places and experiences outside of the nine to five life. I know I'm destined for more and when I'm stuck in a daily routine I begin to forget what I want or even have access to. Being in Europe has changed my perspective on many things and reminds me to stop taking life so seriously and just live. What we do with our time is what we do with our life. 

All in all, I’m happy. I’ve found ways to enjoy my own company and the company of others through the waiting. It’s brought more contentment and security than anything I could have found on my own. With every trial and long day of waiting, I promise to not take life seriously anymore. I’m not too busy for my life anyway. 


Post a Comment

Latest Instagrams

© Julianna Marie. Design by FCD.